Generic Title about Russian Dogs
by Procrastinator-Senpai
Summary: AU. Oliver comes across a stray dog and, like any sane person, decides to take it in. Little does he know how much said dog will change him. 2p Dog Russia and 2p England. Rated M because of cursing and there will most likely be gore later. Reviews are welcome. Updates will be slow... Cover Art by me.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note:** Long story short, I wanted to write something with 2p Russia as a dog. Don't judge me.

* * *

Oliver loved the sound of rain. Especially when there's the steady drip of one massive drop that punctuates the almost-silence every few seconds. He knew he should've been getting home; he was already soaked from the amount of cars that had rushed past. He felt himself shivering, though the idea to leave didn't cross his mind.

Eventually, his thoughts went to his briefcase. His papers would be soaked! Oliver sighed and started to head down the pavement towards his home. The heating was still broken, so tonight would be freezing. _Better get a billion blankets and curl up in bed, _he thought. The dark clouds and still frosty ground mocked him as he puffed out cold air. Eventually, his house came into view and he fussed with his pockets, trying to get his keys out. Oliver huffed again and somehow managed to wrestle his keys out without dropping his umbrella. As soon as he'd gotten it open, he dumped his case down and sighed. Oliver was about to close the door when he spotted something by the end of his path.

It was a dog. And a pretty big dog as well. Black and even more soaked than him!

"Hey there." Oliver smiled and closed his umbrella, shoving it into the hall. He held out his hand and smiled. A few minutes passed, only punctuated by the rain, before the dog stood and padded over to the door. It sniffed his hand and, after a few more seconds, licked it and putted it's head into it.

"'Atta boy." Oliver said, lightly scratching behind it's ear. "Or girl... Nah, you look like a boy." The dog huffed at the comment and butted it's head into his hand again. It sort of looked like a husky that someone had dipped in black paint and he was soaked! Poor thing!

"Hold on, I think I have some ham somewhere..." As he stood, the dog followed my every movement with it's dull, unamused brown eyes. The second the doorway was cleared, the dog stepped in and sat. Great, now he wouldn't leave... Then again...

Oliver looked him up and down. No collar, nothing to indicate an owner. A thought crossed. Could he take care of a dog? Maybe, if he was okay being left alone for most of the day on weekdays.

"You wanna come in, big guy?" The Brit smiled. The dog blinked twice before it padded into the hall and sniffed about a little. He couldn't stop a grin from spreading over his face. The blonde took his umbrella and case and allowed the dog to look around the front hall of the tiny bungalow. He could leave if he wanted to, so the Brit saw no cause for concern... Well, unless the dog had rabies or something. He'd take him to the vet's tomorrow.

* * *

When Oliver returned, the dog was sitting by the door, somehow dry without getting water all over the floor, but he didn't question it. He smiled at him and padded into the kitchen.

"You still need a name..." The Brit muttered, more to himself than the dog. He located the ham and peeled a sliced from the packet. "Come on." He called out before he felt a form pressed against his leg and laughed, crouching beside the massive hound and holding out the meat. He sniffed it, wary, before ripping a small corner off in a taste test. Once the meat appeared to meet his satisfaction, he gobbled it down at what appeared to be inhuman speed.

"Slow down! You'll give yourself a tummy ache!" Oliver giggled and the dog appeared to stop itself the second it heard it. "Silly dog..." He muttered, rubbed it's head and smiling.

The dog blinked up at the Brit and pushed his head into my leg. Oliver had to restrain a giggle as he ruffled his fur. He yawned and set about shoving his things into any convenient nook and cranny. He'd sort it all out tomorrow when he was less exhausted.

"You can always sleep in my room, big guy." He said, petting the dog's head. Sure, the dog could have some disease, but it was better than freezing to death. The floor creaked as the Brit wandered to his room, flopping down on his bed and feeling around under his pillow for his pyjamas. Once he found the baby pink fabric with a little bunny embroidered on the right chest, a gift from his mum you see, he slipped off his work clothes and tugged them on without getting up and dumped his clothes under his bed. Again, he'd sort them out tomorrow.

He pulled the covers over his head and let out a sigh. At least it was a weekend tomorrow... And he had a dog now! Well, if every checked out with the vet...

The bed dipped and creaked as another weight climbed on and Oliver peaked out to see the dog, curled up right beside him and radiating warmth. He smiled and petted it's head.

A name... Well, what about Mr. Rainbow Fluffy Pants? Um, no. That didn't suit the creature beside him. He'd been watching a show about the history of story development a few days ago... Who was the brain behind that narrative theory they were talking about? Oh! Vladimir Propp! That was it!

"I'll call you Vladimir then. You like that, big guy?"

The dog grunted it's approval and Oliver grinned.

"'Night then, Vladdy."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm gonna attempt to keep the story going with making Vlad turn into a human but no promises. As for Ollie... He's not gonna be violent or crazy because I like cutesy 2p Iggy.

Preview for the next part? 2p Japan. That is all. Now that I think about it, 2p Japan curses a lot... Bloody hell...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for grammar mistakes... I sometimes make silly mistakes...**

* * *

Things were mostly calm for a week after Oliver had welcomed Vladimir into his home. They already had a rather solid routine for the weekdays, despite the short length of time that they'd lived together for.

Before work, they'd both wake up and, while Oliver was getting ready, his canine friend would stay on the bed, watching his every move to make sure he didn't trip and fall or, worse, see a spider. While his master was at work, Vlad would usually just sleep or wander or mildly amuse himself with one of the toys Oliver had gotten him. The second Oliver got through that door, he would have to deal with his dog following him for most of the evening until bed, when he'd have his companion curl up beside him.

Oliver soon realized that his dog was the kind that, while it enjoyed getting a cuddle and such sometimes, he was much more content to just lie beside his master on the sofa, his head in his lap. Vlad often fell asleep in his master's lap, never hearing the squeal of 'so cute!' from the Brit.

"Look Vladdy!" Oliver grinned widely and held out a paper bag. "Look what I got!" He chimed and rummaged around until he tugged out a black collar and grinned down at his companion. It took the dog five seconds exactly to react before he jumped up, taking the Brit by surprise, tail whipping from side to side and nuzzling into his master's face.

The week went by quickly, though Oliver still had an idea that was bugging him. _Would Vlad be okay with other people?_ Sure, he was fine with the Brit, but that was because he was his owner. He _had_ taken him off the street after all. But... What if he lunged out at someone when he took him out for walks?

The blonde sighed as he petted his companion's head lightly, subconsciously. Vlad grunted softly and sat up, yawning and hopping off the sofa to stretch.

"Maybe you could meet a friend of mine first..." Oliver muttered aloud. His dog blinked and shook himself, pawing absent mindly at the ground. Before he could say anymore, he'd noticed Vlad had started to pad around, much like he had the day after Oliver had brought him in. He was sniffing about, letting out soft grunts of frustration.

"Are you looking for something, silly doggie?" Oliver smiled and giggled when his dog gave him the death glare. Vlad shook his head and padded away down the hall. The Brit got up and followed his dog, just to make sure he didn't misbehave.

The Brit groaned when he saw his dog pad into the guests room."Vladdy, you aren't allowed in there!" He yelped, trying to crouch to get his dog out but gaining a surprise instead. Vladimir _growled._

"Don't take that tone with me!" Oliver puffed out his cheeks, speaking in a tone one would use on a misbehaving child rather than a dog.

Vladimir paused for a second before pushing against the door to close it.

_Well, at least he's not a _stupid _dog, though if he understands how human devices work that may be a problem._

* * *

The day after, Oliver was up earlier than usual and took that in his stride. He glanced to the dog beside him, still heavy with sleep and staring up at him with those stoic brown eyes.

"I've got a friend coming over today, so be nice!" He said as he got out of bed and went to start on breakfast.

_Another human going near my master? Outrageous! How on Earth dose my skittish little master put up with other humans in his house?!_ Vladimir growled to himself at the thought, but forced himself to be calm... He didn't want his master to get scared or anything. He'd learnt that the worst time to scare his master was while he was in the kitchen as he had a tendency to grab a knife or something similar.

"Breakie time, Vladdy!" The Brit called as he placed his dog's food bowl on the ground. He hurt that familiar grunt and glanced down at his companion. The dog started eating, though kept an eye on his master. Wanted to make sure he wasn't in trouble. Not just to watch him and enjoy his master's presence as he tried to make toast that wasn't cremated. While his master was an excellent cook, the toaster appeared to be his mortal enemy.

Vladimir shook his head and huffed at the... Interesting idea that shot across his brain. He was _not_ going to think about his master like that. That's just weird shit that's only in fanfiction.

Though... He supposed that if he was human he would be able to do more to make his master happy. His master liked to talk. A lot. Step one of being human would be responding. Okay, not responding, but making it more obvious that he was listening. As a dog, that wasn't exactly easy. If anything, it was easier to just have a staring contest with him to show he was interested.

Second... Glare at anyone who annoyed him. His master often grumbled about a few humans who appeared to be troubling him hugely. He'd never really been able to tell what their exact names were as his master never spoke them without his voice being a grumble at the same time.

His train of thought was interrupted by his master's hand on his head. "Now when he comes over, I don't want you to get grumpy or anything, okay? He won't do anything to hurt you."

_Well, if you have to tell me that, I'm inclined to believe he's an asshole._

Vladimir grunted and padded away to sit by the door. "Right, of course, you don't care anyway." He sighed and while finishing off his toast, went off to get dressed.

_I do care, you... Damnit! He's making me soft!_ Vlad huffed once more and lay down, yawning.

Little over five minutes later, Vlad was glaring at the door as Oliver invited in a dark haired man who quite clearly had never heard of personal space. _I swear, if he gropes my master once more I'm going to... I dunno, crap in his shoe or something._

The man was of Asian descent with dark brown eyes, rather pale and brown eyes that seemed trained on the Brit before him. Though only his eyes or ass.

"Damn, when you said you had a dog I thought it was like a little yapping Chihuahua or some shit."

"Kuro!"

"What?"

"Curses! Do I need to get the soap?!" The Brit huffed and padded into the living room.

Kuro rolled his eyes. "How do you live with this guy, Pooch?"

_Go near my human again and I will bite your face off._

* * *

**A/N: I have no excuse for taking so long to upload... Well, except Amnesia and Vocaloid... May write something based of the game or a song but... Meh.**


	3. Chapter 3

Talking to anyone was meant to be ridiculously easy. Well, tell that to the Brit who now had an over protective, heavy dog lying over his lap and letting out a low growl every time his conversation partner got within a metre of him.

Having a pet is never easy, but this was ridiculous.

"Get off. Go on." Oliver made a rather weak shoo gesture. "Off." He huffed when the only response he got was a blank stare from the massive hound on his lap.

Kuro was keeping his distance, sitting on the opposite sofa. Well, not really 'sitting,' more sprawling across it like he owned the place. "Why the fuck is that thing so possessive? How long have you had it? A week or some shit?"

The Brit sighed, ignoring Kuro's vulgarity, and pushed his pet's side lightly. "Vladdy, get up."

Vladimir huffed and lowered his head to lay it on his paws. Oliver let out a strange sound, a cross of a nervous chuckle and an annoyed cackle and went limp against the sofa. "Urgh... I didn't sign up for this." He huffed and glanced at Kuro, who hadn't moved and either didn't want to help or was scared of Vladimir biting his nose off.

"You regretting getting such a fucking possessive dog?"

Ollie gave his Japanese friend a look, half for the curse and half for the comment in general. "He just likes cuddles from me too much."

"You told Severo about him yet?"

"Um... Well..."

Kuro rolled his eyes and leaned on his hands, lying on his stomach. "Just tell him now and say you got him tonight or something."

Oliver sighed and lightly pushed Vladimir's side. "Let me get up." The dog glanced up at his master and, after a few seconds, hopped off the sofa and snorted in annoyance. He smiled at his dog and gave him a quick pet before padding over to the table, squeaking in embarrassment when Kuro smacked his ass.

_I wonder if it's possible to take him to a volcano and drop him in._ Vladimir thought absentmindly. He shook his head and huffed as Oliver picked up that weird device that made a horrid noise occasionally. He fiddled with it for a few seconds before pressing it to the side of his face and heading into the hall.

When the dog tried to follow his master, Kuro pushed the door over and rolled his eyes.

"Ollie needs to talk to his dickhead boyfriend. Stay in here so you don't scare the shit outta him."

_Master has a mate? Well, it makes sense. It's _my_ master after all..._

While Kuro wanted to fill the five minute silence with something, anything, he was still wary of the huge hound by the door. Vladimir, however, didn't care and simply wanted his master to be done on that wretched device that humans called a telephone.

Eventually, the Brit slipped back through the door and smiled. "He's coming over!" He chimed as he ruffled his pet's fur.

Though instead of the smile he had been expecting from Kuro, he instead got a look of pity. "How long 'til you break up again?"

"We won't, it's working out this time."

"Really? You're love life is like a fucking Taylor Swift song with that asshole."

_Whatever Taylor Swift is, it must be negative if this guy is using it to describe my master's mate._ Vlad noted as the hand petting his head stopped.

"It'll be fine. The last few times were just road bumps, that's all." Oliver smiled again, but the little wobble didn't go unnoticed by the Japanese man on the sofa. He stood and padded around the Brit, placing his hands on his shoulders once his was behind him.

"That's what you always say, dumbass. You've gotten back together so many times that Al and Matt are taking bets on when and how you break up next. And before you ask, yes, Luici is also involved so it's not just those two being idiots."

The following silence was rather long and uncomfortable. At least, that's how Vlad felt about the situation. _How dare he make my master upset! Unless his mate really is an asshole, in which case, my master is delusional and- What the hell have I got myself into?_

Oliver suddenly broke out into a wide smile and glanced back to his friend. "Don't worry! I'm sure he'll be better this time!"

"Good, because if he makes you fucking cry your eyes out for a straight week again, he won't just me to deal with, hey Pooch." Kuro glanced down at Vlad, gaining a grunted response.

* * *

The fussing from the Brit in the hallway went ignored by the duo in the living room. When Vlad saw his master's mate, or Severo as Oliver called him, he instantly knew that he would despise him. Clearly, he had a lack of concern for his boyfriend, as he didn't even ask how he was when he entered, didn't even glance at him. Even the dog that was sat by the door, glaring in contempt at the Spaniard who had just entered, could tell this man clearly didn't care what happened to the little Brit who was fawning over him.

Vladimir was in the middle of plotting his murder plan, when Kuro abruptly stood.

"Right, if you're gonna spend the evening with this shithead, I'm leaving."

"Nice to see you to, Kuro." Severo's bored tone mused. The Japanese man narrowed his eyes and flipped him off.

"Fuck off, you pile of shit."

Oliver sighed and dropped onto the sofa, sitting as if he was a guest, not the homeowner. _Where's all that energy gone, master?_ Vlad placed his head on his master's knee. He sighed and absentmindly petted his dog's head... Well, until the Spaniard above him gave him a look and his hands returned to be folded in his lap.

After one more glare, Kuro took his leave, sliding a look to Oliver before padding into the hall to get his shoes. "Hey Pooch, bite his nose off if he tries anything funny. He shouldn't be humping his leg for sex right after they got back together." He paused and groaned in annoyance. "Oh yeah, you don't understand me. Okay, when big baddie goes after master, bite, yes?"

_The only reason I don't despise you entirely is the fact you hate my master's mate as much as I do, but the fact that you're annoying may get in the way of that._

* * *

As soon as the dark-haired man had left, Vlad returned to his spot by the sofa, as he didn't want to be in direct contact with the brown-haired man who had taken _his_ original space.

_Master, why do you allow this human to take my place? Did I do something wrong? Or do you just prefer assholes that clearly don't care?_

Oliver sighed, stuck between a glaring contest that didn't appear to end any time soon. "Do you want anything?"

"Sure. Coffee." Despite his response, Severo kept his gaze on the glaring hound. The Brit sighed and gave the growling dog a warning look before he padded away into the kitchen.

The blonde sighed and rubbed his face. He'd barely made it into the hall, when he heard a yelp and curse, following by a loud bark.

* * *

_Perhaps biting that bastard wasn't a good idea._ Vladimir mused from his stop outside. After his master's mate had reached for his collar, he'd panicked and gone for his hand, ripping out a little chunk of flesh. The Spaniard had threatened to call Animal Control to have him 'put down for being too dangerous' whatever that meant, but Oliver had insisted he was a good dog.

In return, the black husky had to sit outside, under the porch tied to the pillar that held his up all night. It was raining, much heavier than when Vlad had stumbled across the Brit for the first time. He huffed and lay down, eyes flickering and observing the road as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

After a while, he noticed the lights go out and was about to draw to the conclusion that they were both asleep when he caught a whiff of something and almost threw up.

_Why the fuck do humans always have to fucking mate?_

* * *

**A/N: **I'm so sorry that this took so long but I suffer from a serious case of procrastination with a side order of finding a new game called 'Grand Chase' and with a desert of I wanted to start work on some Axis fluff. Sorry guys! D:

In other news, I proof-read this five or six times, so... Yeah.

Reviews are nice... Just so you know. :s


	4. Chapter 4

A good half year or so of living with his human was anything but calm. At least once a fortnight or so, Oliver would come home, bawling his eyes out and curling up on the sofa. After lying with his dog for a good half an hour, he would always make a hot chocolate and put on a few cheesy action movies to laugh at the mistakes. Vladimir preferred his human when he was like this. Not worrying about that damn mate of his, smiling and laughing like his usual self and puffing out his cheeks in fake annoyance when his dog rested his head on his lap.

Despite it only being about six, maybe seven months, Oliver had broken up and gotten back together with his Spanish boyfriend so many times that Vladimir had stopped counting and Kuro had stopped trying to talk sense into the Brit.

Along with his human's mate, Vlad had the displeasure of meeting other humans he would gladly bite in order to get them away from his master. An Italian man who always seemed to be yelling at a cowardly German or playing with knives, a loud mouthed American who always complained about Oliver's meat consumption and a Canadian with anger issues; all three of which he wished a painful death upon.

He also gained an extreme hatred of children. Occasionally, Oliver had to take care of a boy who claimed to be from Sealand, often because his parents wanted to have a week away together without that child. Vlad couldn't blame them. He didn't understand why Oliver hadn't wrung the arrogant little sod up by his neck yet.

Previously that day, Severo had been over. Vladimir despised the idea of admitting it, but his master was happy. At least, he was when he wasn't being ignored. The two shared some form of courtship, at least, from what the dog could see. Though that didn't kill any desire the hound had to find some way to off the Spaniard as quickly as possible.

Sure, for the first few days after the two got back together, the Spaniard would shower the little Brit with affection. Well, as much as he could without displaying any emotion, but the Brit gladly accepted it. Severo knew exactly how to get the Brit to take him back. Simply by waiting a week, he allowed the Brit to become lonely enough to take anyone, but not enough time to start searching for someone else.

Vladimir was currently curled up beside his master. Oliver had been fighting off a cold for the past few days, but that didn't stop him trying to leave the house to visit his boyfriend, only to return a few minutes later saying that the Spaniard didn't want to see him.

_Surely if he's sick, you should at least stay with him for a while. Or are you scared to get mucus on your shirt?_ Vladimir grumbled to himself at the thought. The sofa was now the home of two duvets, a side table having been dragged over from the corner and now holding hot chocolate and a few cookies. Things were relatively peaceful. Both were curled up as Oliver mindlessly browsed the channels, frowning when nothing caught his attention. Eventually, he settled for a nature show about wild cats. He'd barely settled when his mobile vibrated on the sofa arm.

Ah yes, the phone. Vladimir's mortal enemy. It wasn't his fault that he'd accidently destroyed all the landline phones in the house, making Oliver only able to use his mobile. It wasn't his fault. Those things made horrible noises.

_Let me guess, he'll be breaking up with him. Every damn conversation plays out the same..._

_ 'Hi Severo.'_

_'I'm breaking up with you. You're too clingy/It isn't working out/Your freckles are disgusting.'_

The last one pissed Vlad off the most and low and behold. He knew his master was awfully sensitive about his freckles, to the point that he would cover them with makeup when he went into a public place, but the dog didn't see the issue. He thought they gave him character and were cute.

Vlad huffed to himself. _Don't think about your master as cute. That's just freaky._

Oliver went through the regular emotions he usually had when this call came through, tearing up, asking, no, _begging_ his ex to reconsider, all the usual crap that Vlad had gotten used to. That was another thing that bothered the hound. Why on Earth did the TV lie about how people cried? On that box with moving pictures and annoying noises, people only had slight tears when they cried. Maybe his master was just different as he got puffy eyed and red faced.

He didn't understand why his human didn't see through any of it. He always looked so happy when Severo called up again a week or so later, claiming he'd made a mistake or he was in the heat of the moment. His master wasn't stupid, but he always fell for the same honeyed words every time simply due to fear of being alone.

"Okie dokie, see you later then?" Vladimir jerked back to his senses when his master hung up and glanced to him, smiling slightly and petting his head.

"Vladdy, you can't sleep with me tonight, okay? Severo's staying over." He said, sighing when a growl formed in his dog's throat. "I know you hate him, but please be good, okay?"

_I'll be 'good' for that ass when Kuro goes a sentence without cursing._

Long story short, the night was relatively uneventful as Vlad was sat in the hall, spying in overwhelming disgust at the couple on the sofa. He would've gone over and shoved them apart to sit beside his beloved master, however due to the rain outside he didn't feel like spending a night soaked to the bone. It was usually worth it, but not tonight. It sounded like a storm anyway.

The hound had been absentmindly chewing on the Spaniard's shoe in order to make some sort of statement. The couple probably wouldn't see it until the morning, but at least it was something. He lifted one ear to listen to the conversation that was close to just flying over his head.

"I don't get why you even keep him."

Oliver glanced up at his boyfriend and pouted. "What do you mean?"

"Your house smells like wet dog."

The blonde sniff-tested the air and frowned."I didn't notice it..."

Severo gave him a cold glare, as if questioning how on Earth he couldn't. The Brit coughed slightly and, after a short pause, smiled. "You should get a cat, they aren't as annoying."

"Awh, but dogs are more loyal and friendlier and-"

"Smell worse and louder."

Oliver giggled. "But Vladdy never barks."

"He growls if you go near him unless it's you. Sometimes he's okay with what's his face, Luici's bitch, but that's probably just 'cause he feels sorry for him."

Vladimir huffed and sunk his teeth into the cheap leather once again. The only reason the hound didn't growl at the damn coward was simply because of pity. Occasionally he even allowed him to pet him.

As the duo stood, Vlad dumped the shoe in the corner and curled up in his bed behind the kitchen door. Apparently, sleeping beside his master was unacceptable when Severo was anywhere nearby, though that didn't stop him trying.

Once everything had settled, Vladimir would often climb onto his master's bed in an attempt to push the Spaniard off, though would usually just get kicked off and retreat to his bed.

When soft snores eventually drifted through the house, the dog finally decided that sleep was necessary.

Waking up upside down is rather odd, though nothing uncommon for Vlad. He had a tendency to roll about in his sleep. He was semi-sprawled out of his bed, lying on his back with only his back legs in his bed. He grunted in annoyance and rolled over, sighing when his lay on his stomach. He pushed himself up and frowned.

_Okay, I don't think this is right._ He glanced down at his paws only to frown in confusion. Hands. Fucking hands. _Do I have... _other_ human features? _He sat up and huffed to himself. _Apparently so._ He thought, as if the tone would come across cynically despite it being mental. _Oh, fuck me. Not literally, of course. _

The only positive thing he could think of about becoming human meant opposable thumbs, but the novelty would wear off quickly. What about clothes? Humans seemed to be obsessed with covering themselves with the things, which never ceased to confuse him. Sure, sometimes the weather called for it, but for the most part, they were useless!

Though, despite his dismay, Vlad noted the pair of boxer shorts he'd been dumped in, so at least he wouldn't give his master a heart attack.

After a few minutes of attempting and failing to stand on his new legs, the newly changed human settle for staying where he was. He's seen humans walk on all fours and wasn't about to embarrass himself. Even if he was the only person in the room.

Mumbling from down the hall made the man jump back to reality. He heard a light yawn before the kitchen door opened and a certain Brit stepped in, still half consumed by sleep, eyes screwed up in exhaustion and most likely up to get himself some tea. He went rigid the second his eyes opened fully, hand still on the door handle, gripping it as if it would serve as a weapon.

Then he fainted.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so the reason why this is so late is because I hated how it came out the first time, so rewrote it... Four times. Sorry. And yet there's still probably grammatical errors I missed. :(

I also was wondering if giving Vladdy dogs ears, tail and whiskers was a good idea, then decided it's been done to death with all those neko stories, so... He's just gonna have dog instincts.

Criticism is welcome.


End file.
